Wednesday, February 2, 2022

The Latest Donald Trump Scandal

As you all know, I never use this site for politics - but I just have to tell you what happened a while ago, it's all just too weird.

I came home from work one day in December, and while checking my mail, I noticed a large, brown-paper package addressed to me.  As I took it up to my apartment, I noticed a curious thing, it had no return address on it. Now, I'm not a paranoid kind of guy, but in these days of threatening phone calls and such, could this be an explosive package?  Dare I open it? 

"Oh, what the hell" I said, my curiosity was just too much.  So I put on a very heavy overcoat, and very heavy gloves, averted my eyes and gingerly opened the damn package.  Examining the contents, I realized it was just a bunch of typed papers - nothing dangerous there.  Or was it?  

As I began reading, I discovered the papers were from some whistle-blower, describing what he discovered while working in the Trump administration - some kind of scandal, as if there weren't enough of those already. But why send it to me?  He explained it in the preface - apparently the guy is a really big fan of my animation, especially "Your Face" - and he wanted me to create a film that would expose this "fiendish" plan of Trump's that was so strange, only animation could do it justice, it was so surreal.  

So here's the Trump plan: because Trump realized that his hold on the Presidency was lost, because of Biden's victory, he cooked up a cockamamie idea to invite Mike Pence to his lavish, gold-plated Trump Tower penthouse for a planning session on how to hold on to power - he had no plan to stop being the President of the U.S. 

And, as Pence would be walking up Fifth Avenue to the so-called "meeting", from the entrance of Trump Tower, Trump would step out on to the sidewalk with an AR-15 and fire 20 quick rounds into the body of the ex-Vice-President.  Of course, the entire scene would be witnessed by all the people on Fifth Avenue.

No one would know what to do - this is the President of the United States, who's gonna arrest him?  Plus, he still has a fully-loaded, smoking assault weapon.  So Trump would then probably casually return inside the golden entrance of his tower, laughing at full volume.  

The papers went on to explain how the President of the U.S. can not go on trial for any illegal act because he's so damn busy, so he's immune from prosecution.  Then Trump would move himself into the vice-Presidency role - I know this is a very unorthodox action, but Trump is famous for breaking rules and stereotypes.  

And now I see the purpose of this Machiavellian move - Trump realized that Pence didn't have the cojones to declare the Electoral College count a sham, so Trump had to get rid of Pence, any way he could, so this was Trump's way of solving the problem.  Of course, this was just a "Plan B" solution for Trump's re-election dilemma - it was cooked up by Rudy Giuliani and his gang of sleazy attorneys (wait, that's redundant...).

Apparently, Trump never executed Plan B, the rumor was that he was afraid that the bad press from the assassination of his stalwart Vice President would have depressed the rental value of his precious Trump Tower suites.  

You probably don't believe my story - but just watch when the January 6 committee commences in person and releases the results of their investigation on worldwide TV. Some of these wacky plans are going to spill out into the harsh light of the TV cameras - and them come and ask me about the notorious Plan B - and I'll laugh in your face!

Next time, I'll have a big announcement about a fabulous upcoming event that I will be a part of - Stay tuned!

--Bill P.

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