Jennifer Aniston and Me

I got an invitation to see Jennifer Aniston's new film "Cake" and to also have dinner and drinks and meet the star herself.  I don't always go to these events - I'm usually too busy, but I thought this might be a good opportunity to introduce myself as the animator who drew her character on the FOX T.V. show "The Edge" years ago.  Also, I thought she might be interested in doing a voice for a new short film I'm starting work on, called "The Loneliest Stoplight".

So, I went to the packed screening of "Cake".  Aniston is, of course, wonderful in it, but the film itself is not my kind of movie.  It's very cynical and depressing. 

I took a cab to the reception, got there early and introduced myself to her, and I was just about to mention "The Edge" when some old friends of hers butted in, and slowly I got pushed to the periphery, then photographers told me to move out of the way so they could take pictures.

But I hung in there, knowing that she'd probably be delighted to meet the guy who did animation for the sketch comedy show she was on before "Friends" - perhaps she'd even ask me for a drawing.  More of her friends joined in the crowd, and the more I hung around, the more her personal bodyguards thought I was a stalker.

Finally, the burly bodyguard told me to back away from her so she could eat.  But I explained to the guy that I worked with her on a project and wanted to chat with her for a minute.  He then became very insistent that I move away so she could have her dinner. 

So I asked him if she or her management company actually paid $15,000 for this event so she could eat dinner, or if they forked over the big bucks so she could meet Academy voters and talk about her film for an Oscar nomination.  That didn't seem to convince him, as he moved his body directly between Ms. Aniston and me. 

I took the hint that my opportunity was now gone, as he seemed to single me out as a troublemaker.  So I grabbed my coat and as I left in frustration I said to the bodyguard, "Because of you, I'm not going to vote for Ms. Aniston or the film.  And I don't believe those are Jennifer's wishes." 

Boy, I really told him off - but in the end neither of us got nominated this time, so we couldn't meet up at the Governors Ball and laugh about the whole incident.  Now that would have been cool!

--Bill P.